A Political Christmas
| Speaker: | Order, order! I call upon the Leader of the Opposition |
| Leader Of the Oposition | Mister Speaker. Is the prime minister aware that in the middle East, at a time of acute international tension a star has appeared over Bethlehem. What is the government going to do about this? What is their policy? |
| Prime Minister: | If a star, in fact, has appeared in the East as the Right Honourable gentleman alleges; it is entirely due to the firm stand which this government has taken, and the careful diplomacy pursued by my Right Honourable friend the Foreign Secretary.It should be remembered that when the party opposite were in power no stars appeared over Bethlehem; and perhaps even more significantly no Stars were invited to cocktail parties at number ten. |
| LoO: | Is it not a fact that other countries have already sent special representatives to Bethlehem bearing gifts of Gold Frankincense and Myrrh? Will the government make similar gestures to ensure that we do not lose our influence over the situation. |
| Labour Back Bencher | It were ‘is lot that stopped you getting myrrh on the National Health. |
| Speaker | Order Order! Do let the Prime minister answer the question. |
| PM: | The Right Honourable Member opposite has just shown his total lack of grasp of economic management. We shall not depart from the prudent fiscal policies pursued by my Right Honourable colleague the Chancellor of the Exchequer. Policies which have brought this country unparalleled price stability and prosperity. We shall not squander our gold reserves in reckless speculation or foreign adventures. |
| LoO: | Madam Speaker I am incensed [laughter] by the Prime Minister’s unwillingness to face the real issue. What is his policy with regard to the Star of Bethlehem? |
| PM: | Our policy is dictated by the best interests of the British people, not by party dogma. But be assured of this, our policies have ended the isolationism of the previous government and put Great Britain at the heart of the Middle East. |
| LoO: | The Prime Ministers weakness in diplomacy is obviously equalled by his lack of grasp of geography. It is widely believed that the Star, heralds the birth of a new king. What is he going to do about it? |
| Blair | Our policies on devolution have strengthened the constitution not weakened it; and in no way affect the role of the monarchy or the position of the Queen as Head of the Commonwealth. |
| LoO: | It is widely believed that this new King will institute a new age of peace prosperity and well being. I refer the Prime minister to the report by the Jerusalem institute for religious forecasting chapter 60 verse 17: “Instead of bronze I will bring gold silver in place of iron Instead of wood I will bring you bronze and iron in place of stone. I will make peace your governor and righteousness your ruler.”Can he show any evidence that he has grasped the importance of these issues? |
| PM: | I refer to my previous answer. Peace and prosperity have been the result of this governments policies. |
| LoO: | Will the Prime minister say clearly. What action he intended’s to take in view of this entirely new situation. Does he not realise that the birth of the saviour represents the fulfilment of mankind’s most ancient hopes and makes possible a new heaven and a new earth? |
| PM: | In any perfect reign of the Prince of Peace there will be no opposition, and I know I speak for the British people in welcoming that. |
| LoO: | If the Kingdom of God has come among us in the form of a child. What is the party opposite going to do about it? |
| PM: | If a kingdom of universal peace, brotherhood, justice and righteousness; well being and sufficiency is established; as the Right Honourable gentleman opposite implies; then we shall join when it is in the best interests of Great Britain to go in. And we shall hold a referendum to establish the wishes of the British people. |
| Crowd | Cries of hurrah or resign or answer or bravo |
| Speaker | Order, order! |
Tags: Christmas, Humour, Politics